Incredibly grateful to Jaeson Ma for sharing the 5 Pillars of Manhood (http://jaesonma.com/365-days-of-love-day-284-the-5-pillars-of-manhood-how-men-should-love-respect-women/). In response, I felt it was only fair to highlight some areas that us ladies can work on as well. I give you, the 5 Pillars of Womanhood.
1. Importance of Intention - Jaeson’s sharing is spot on in saying “Women don’t want to marry boys, they want to marry men.” but how do you think boys become men? well, certainly not on their own. Most human behaviour is learned and how men treat women is no different. Believe it or not, we women can dictate how we want to be treated and not by commanding it directly in shouting or force but by supporting and encouraging what we believe to be the God-ordained standard and discouraging that which is not. We say we want gentlemen, pure men of God, guys who treat us right, who value us for what we’re worth, who respect us and treat us as honoured beings. So how do we help them do that? Does our speech, our actions or even our wardrobe encourage this behaviour? Yes, we all have ‘freedom of expression’ so technically, no boundaries. But does it help a brother stay pure when we send false signals in our dress, play games through words or act flirtatiously? Are we really supporting the cause for better men?
The point is not to split hairs to determine whether halters or tank tops are more appropriate. If we have the right attitude and mindset, the right decision will simply flow from our intentions. Let us remember that everything is permissable but not everything is beneficial and above all else, our actions should not lead others to stumble. (1 Corinthians 10)
2. Importance of Clarity – Whether we’d like to admit it or not, men and women are like day and night, giving and receiving information in totally different ways. I’m no historian, but something tells me communication issues between men and women have existed since Adam & Eve. To further complicate matters, women are complex creatures, going a mile a minute, thinking about 500 things at once, and conversation topics changing like traffic lights. We have (mental) lists of requirements and expectations and often find that males fall short and can’t meet those standards. But when we communicate, are we being clear? could we be more clear? To push the question further, are we even sure what we’re asking for? Do we know what we want?
Playing games with words intentionally may seem entertaining but in the end it doesn’t give us what our heart really wants; it may just cause more conflict and confusion. So let our yes be yes and our no be no (Matthew 5:37).
3. Importance of Discovery – Whether single, dating or married, no matter your status, God has a calling for you. You were created for a purpose, with specific interests and passions so that you enjoy yourself as you do what you’re meant to. Of course, once you are a couple, there is the direction of the other person to consider but even then, the core vision and mission of your life should not change. In fact, it should even be strengthened as you become a duo. How often do we go looking for ‘the one’ but aren’t really sure what we’re looking for? What is it that you were meant to do? Only with that answer in hand can you qualify the statement that the ‘right one’ just isn’t out there. How do you know that someone doesn’t ‘fit’ into your life if you don’t know what your God-purposed life is supposed to look like?
Callings are unique and beautiful things. The sooner you find it, the sooner you can start living a life that is maximized! Living out that purpose in Him will be your focus and the rest will sort itself out (Matthew 6:33). You are the King’s daughter, fearfully and wonderfully made, find out what He wants to do with that (Psalm 139).
4. Importance of Preparation – We want there to be good godly men out there so that we can hopefully meet one, marry one, and be a wife to one. It may sound obvious to point out but soldiers don’t go into the battlefield to learn how to use a gun. You learn before, you train, you prepare. You want to be a godly wife in your marriage? you want to be a physical and spiritual wife/mother to your future family? Training starts now. A God-honouring wife is one who is ready to support/encourage her husband with the Word, ready to be a prayer warrior, ready to sacrifice. Preparation for this starts from being these things to those around you wherever you are.
It is a common misconception that the Bible’s definition of a good wife is nothing like the modern woman, she would set feminism back a few hundred years and never understand what it takes to ‘make it’ today. False. The Proverbs 31 wife was of noble character, reliable, hard working, smart, financially independent, strong, charitable, resourceful, wise, a good manager, and someone others could have confidence in. Something tells me she didn’t become these things overnight. Singlehood is not a waiting room for marriage. It has its own purpose, blessings, and learnings.
5. Importance of Humility – Again, often frowned upon when read today as debates flare on the Biblical definition of ‘submission’ and the role of husband and wife. I choose to see it as the responsibility of different tasks to accomplish the same goal. Neither party is valued as less. Though there is great sensitivity around this topic, humility in any partnership is actually necessary. Business partners, teammates, colleagues, friends, any kind of cooperating relationship requires humility from both parties; respecting the other enough to give up your own way for a common goal or greater good. And no, this does not leave us women with a raw deal because the husband is then commanded to love their wives, so by doing that, would not take advantage of or abuse the respect given.
How we submit and humble ourselves in our relationship with God teaches us how to be that supportive partner to our husbands. Learning this means honing our hearts and letting go of the stubbornness in us to fight everything. In the end, it is our inner selves, a quiet and gentle spirit which will be of great value (1 Peter 3:4).
Sisters, let’s do our part to help our brothers become better men while preparing ourselves to be the type of women who lead God-purposed lives and seek to become more of that which He intended us to be.
My housemates & I (aka BB Family – minus Jess) attended Abbott’s Pilates event to raise wareness for Rheumatoid Arthritis. It was a Sunday morning of Pilates at East Coast Park by the ocean. All in the name of ‘scoping out the competitor’ =p
The Goodie Bag!
Since I’ve moved to Singapore there’s been a steady stream of visitors which is great as it pushes me to get familiar with the city (and the touristy spots). It’s always surreal to see friends I’ve met in China outside of the motherland, but with Christine’s visit, it was no different. LET’S QUIZZLE!
An evening out on Clarke Quay with a stop at the Clinic. Christine had a bit too much fun on those wheelchairs =D
Andrea and I enjoyed our Singapore Slings (Andrea: “they were invented @ the Raffles Hotel)
Finally, after a random calamari stop, we realized that we were still missing wings & nachos. The only spot to go? Hooters?
Their wings were surprisingly good!
Come back soon, MCB!
Ev & Clinton made their first trip to Singapore. After a lovely flight delay they arrived in time for a 2am snack!
Outside of my house, pouring rain to start the 1st day.
One of MANY hero shots…
@ Sentosa by the Siloso beach
Clinton attacking an innocent civilian at the mall
@ Carl’s Jr. with the ever-deadly chili cheese fries. Tough debate as to whether to go all out @ Carl’s or to have German for dinner. Tough debate indeed.
German it is…
Day 2 – lunch @ Newton Circus aka, eat everything in sight
Time to work off the meal with KTV! We must have been waiting to do this proper for about…6 years?
The ghoul-ly Night Safari
Biking @ East Coast Park – serious swerving ensued
A man with his double filet o fish, best midnight snack E-VAR!
@ the Fountain of Wealth walking off a major brunch
Overall, a very food-full visit. They were happy enough to sign up for round 2 – Heviton in Bintan! Stay tuned for photos of incriminating evidence!
Every September, Singapore hosts the F1. The city blocks off roads, traffic becomes nutty and public transportation overflows. On this particular weekend, my friend Ernie was in town and we decided to check out Marina Bay Sand’s Skypark aka ‘the boat on top of 3 buildings’ in Singapore, or as I’d prefer to call it, Noah’s Parking Spot.
Very similar to being atop Taiwan 101:
The view of the F1 track from atop the Skypark:
The pool at the top is for hotel guests. Basically, the edge of the pool is the very edge of the building.
Indoor gandala inside the Marina Bay Sands mall. How chic!
Just catching up on a Hari Raya post.
Hari Raya weekend was Sept 10 and after many weeks of intending to do so, I finally decided to go biking at East Coast Park. Unfortunately, it was raining but my friend Siwei and I insisted on plowing on.
Along the way, we stopped by a wake-boarding park. Instead of having boats pull people around, it uses wired cables. Much like a rope tow for wakeboarding!
Caught a little kid mesmerized by the tv playing outside a restaurant:
Dinner was my first steamboat experience. Steamboat is the Singaporean name for ‘hot pot’. In this case of steamboat, it sits on top of a metal plate that can be used as the grill. Thus, you get bbq and hotpot all in one go! I have to say, though eating hot pot outdoors in sweaty Singapore is kind of against my preference, it was thoroughly enjoyable =D
My whole life, I have more or less checked the weather everyday. Even if I know what the weather is going to be like, I just like knowing the exact temperature of the outside world I’m going to be walking around in.
This habit seemed informative, all fine and good …until I moved to Singapore…
See image below…seems kind of a senseless activity now…
As with any country, there is always going to be interesting signage around town. Here are just a few:
~ in case I wanted to bring the prickly fruit aboard
~ in case I even considered not waiting til the next bathroom stop
~ watch your head and...no smoking.
Marina Bay Sands is a new hotel with a park-type thing on top of it which apparantly takes 15 mins to walk the whole way around, complete with swimming pool. If you ask me, I’m glad Noah’s finally found a parking spot =D
~ boat parked on top of 3 buildings
Honourable Mention:
I always love seeing stuff I’ve (remotely) worked on out in ‘real life’.
~ Alienware: ignore guy who thought I was taking picture of him (or just too insensitive to move)
So what’s it like living in Singapore?
Well, when I first arrived, I was living in a service apartment. Since I had grown accustomed to everything being messy in China, I expected more organization, higher standards and greater ease in Singapore. So far, this has been true. mostly…
The day I arrived (June 4), the driver forgot to come pick me up from the airport. After he finally arrived, he asked me where we were going… as if I knew…
The service apartment was spacious and at a convenient location. The downside? ants. I’m told that it’s common in Singapore but after 2 days I couldn’t take it anymore. I told management who sent someone to spray. The guy comes in and sprays EVERYWHERE. After that, I didn’t want to touch anything in the area. Before he leaves, the maintenance guy says ‘I’ll leave a bottle here for you in case you see more. But make sure you DON’T do THIS’ – he then proceeds to press the button down all the way so the spray is EXTRA STRONG, coming out all over the place at an incredulous rate. And AS the stuff is coming out, he TALKS and explains how if you press button all the way down, this will happen and you don’t want that. To make matters worse, after he left, there were more ants. I emailed management and asked for a room change.
After the room change, I encountered a cockroach and a spider both with invincibility powers. But nothing compared to the dancing washing machine.
~ sudsy service apartment
I admit that my fault was not knowing that front-load washers require low-sud detergent but what I could not explain was why the washer was dancing so much that the dryer on top of it was about to topple over. So there I am, holding up the dryer, waiting for the shaking to help me hoist the dryer back on top of the washer. By the time this was done, I had suds everywhere and soapy clothes. The adventure ended with having to manually rinse my clothes, something I never even did in China.
- ~ 2.5ft deep bathroom
~ kitchen
~ living room
~ my room...before the 17 boxes of stuff arrived
~ me & a giant ice cream at the subway station
Since moving to Singapore, I’ve decided to be more dedicated to updating through blogging because well… now I can. I suppose blogging for me is less for others to read (though you’re invited to) but moreso that there is an account of what happens knowing that I’ll likely forget.
As I started to go through all the pictures and stories that I had, I kept thinking that I could only update on the present when I had cleared the backlog of all that happened in the past year. But that never makes sense because then things just get older and older. Instead, I’m going to start with all that’s happened in Singapore thus far and every once in a while I’ll come back with a ‘Backlog’ post, which will take you down my memory lane to a China experience.
